Reviews: Kingdom of Sorrow: Behind the Blackest Tears

So, I'm just gonna come right out and say it, I didn't really dig the first Kingdom of Sorrow record. I love Hatebreed, I love Crowbar, and I love Down. Yet, this supergroup just didn't do it for me. I can tell you exactly what it was, too. Jamey Jasta's style just did not fit in the sludge genre. Jasta needs fist pumping anthems. He needs speed, whereas Kirk Windstein's guitar playing is all about groove, and heaviness. Even now that Hatebreed has gone a little more metal with their last record, it's still all about a hammering cadence. Sludge metal is all about drawing it out. Long, low wails instead of quick violent bursts. The riffs were pretty great, but overall, it just didn't work for me. It seemed as if Hardcore and Sludge were like water and sludge, they wouldn't mix.

Having said this, I still had high hopes that this new record 'Behind the Blackest Tears' would come together. Would they either speed it up to work with the vocals, or would Jasta adjust his style to fit the grooves. I was hoping for the latter, but would have settled for the former. Turns out, they struck a great note by taking both routes.

The record starts out with some pretty great, straight-forward sludge in 'Enlightened to Extinction', right away Jamey gets the vocals right, dragging out his shouts, and just slowing things down a little bit. The next three songs continue this trend, keeping it heavy and slow. Fans of Down will find these riffs familiar, but still find a few curveballs.

That's when things pick up a bit, with 'Envision the Divide'. We get some pretty cool hardcore style riffs, allowing Jasta to show his proficiency for hardcore vocals, while still dragging out quite a few awesome wails. This is a fist-pumper for sure, and catchy as the flu.

The high-point of the record, though, is 'From Heroes to Dust', a slow, melodic outing that is southern as grits. It really has an awesome Pantera vibe that I'm a sucker for. I can see myself air-guitaring the solo quite a few times. No, I'm not embarrassed about air-guitaring. This song alone is worth the price of the record.

So, there you have it. A solid, solid record that showcases what these guys have to offer. Here's a taste.



If you don't like that, there's something wrong with you. I'm just sayin'.

3.5/4

Amazon had insulted me

I like to think I have a pretty thick hide. I just let shit roll right off my shoulders. Nothing offends me.

Well, that all changed today. I went to Amazon.com to look at something or other, and what popped up in the "Suggestions for Keith Keal"? The new Attack, Attack record. Now, if this had just been some random advertisement for that record I could have just completely disregarded it. I mean, kids with shitty taste in music do like that band, so I guess it's conceivable that Amazon would advertise it.

BUT, this was a specific recommendation, catered to ME. So, based off of things I've searched recently Amazon thinks I like Attack, Attack. They think I like this band...



Well, color me offended. I've searched Amazon for three different bands recently. 'Today is the Day', 'Hate Eternal', and 'The Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza'. How, from those three bands, does it mean I listen to this wiener-puff outfit?

No, Amazon.com, I do not like this wiener-puff outfit, nor do I like any other wiener-puff outfit. You, sir or madam, have offended me. Therefore, I will boycott your website until I find something I want to buy.

For making you watch that horrible video, I give you this...



Ahh, High on Fire...all better now?

The Band you should listen to tomorrow: Bloodbath

So, this is the first of my regular columns, but I probably won't be sticking to it...Anyway, whatever band I tell you today, is the band you listen to tomorrow. Got it?

Today's band...or Tomorrow's band. Bloodbath. Why should you listen to Bloodbath tomorrow? Because I said so, and that's the point of this blog. You do what I tell you.

Let me tell you a few things about Bloodbath. 1. They are European, which means they have accents. Accents are fun and interesting. 2. They are a Death Metal supergroup, made up of members of such awesome bands as Opeth and Katatonia. 3. They have a song called 'Eaten', and these are the lyrics:

I've had one desire since I was born
To see my body ripped and torn
To see my flesh devoured before my eyes
I'm here for you I volunteer as a human sacrifice

Carve me up, slice me apart
Suck my guts, lick my heart
Chop me up I like to be hurt
Drink my marrow and blood for dessert
EATEN... My one desire, my only wish is to be--
EATEN... The longer I live the more I'm dying to feel the pain
EATEN... I would do anything to be--
EATEN... My one desire, my only wish is to be--
EATEN...

I finally found you, my personal slaughter
As an appetizer, I let you taste my daughter
Call me sick but this is what I need
My only purpose here is for you to feed

Desecrate me
Tear me limb from limb
Eviscerate me
Chew me to death



That, my friends, is your Tuesday.

Has 'In This Moment' created the worst metal song of all time?

Let me get this out there, first thing. This post has nothing to do with chicks in metal bands (is the use of the word chick sexist?...who gives a shit). Arch Enemy is badass, and they have a chick singer. Lita Ford? Awesome. Doro? Even awesomer. Girlfight? Yes, please. So, there.

Now that that's out of the way, 'In This Moment' has just released a single off their new album 'I don't give a shit what this album is actually called', called 'Gunshow'. It's actually really hard for me to get into any critical reaction to this song, because I'm just so mad that I listened to it. When I say listened to it, I mean listened to about a minute and a half of it, and called it quits.

This song is fucking terrible. It's like the most cliche things found in most shitty metal, and piled into one shit filled sandwich of shit. I mean, it's like they went down a checklist;

Shitty slow open: Check
Shitty Kindergarten solo: Check
Terrible lyrics about cowboys and cocked pistols: Check
Awful screeched vocals: Check
Boring, simple riffs during verse: Check
Boring, simple riffs during chorus: Check

Alright, we got ourselves a song.

Don't take my word for it, here is the video. I'm sorry in advance.



God...DAMMIT, that is awful. Why the fuck is she wearing a wedding dress? What's up with the guitar player's shitlocks? I can't understand why this band is popular, aside from having a semi-hot chick as their singer. I mean she's not even that hot, and she sure as shit can't front a metal band very well. And the music...Ugh, I'm giving myself a headache.

I hate this band. Any band that claims to be metal and does a cover of Blondie's "Call Me", should be permantly banned from using any recording devices...even answering machines. I don't have anything against Blondie, but let's not pretend like it's metal to do Blondie covers. FUCK, I hate this band.



You see? Criminally unmetal. That is a fucking abomination against everything that is right and metal in this world. The fact that song exists is proof that there is no justice in this world. I'm running out of hyperbole to express my hatred of this band. aaagh...AAARRRRGGGHHH!!!

Anyway, now that that's out of my system, let's look at a proper band with a leading lady...Walls of Jericho.



I feel much better now.

Some Thrash

Alright, we're starting this shit out serious with the most metal of metal genres, THRASH!!!!!!!

So, I could do like everyone else, and give a history lesson about Thrash, and talk about Slayer, and Exodus, and how early Metallica is like the greatest shit ever, but I'm not gonna do that. Instead, I'm gonna give you three of my favorite NEW Thrash bands. Why am I doing this? A, This isn't a fuckin' history lesson. B...

Here we fuckin' go...

3. Municipal Waste - What do I think of when I think of thrash metal, aside from awesome riffs, and busted noses?...I think of keggers, and getting so slammed that you throw up all over the place. Well, that's what Municipal Waste is all about.



Fuckin' A.

2. Skeletonwitch - First of all, Chance Garnette has the manliest beard/hair combination in the history of anything. This guy looks like a Bear/Viking/Lumberjack hybrid...and they wail, man. Just check this shit out...



You want to punch something, don't you? I know you do.

1. Warbringer - Do I really need to go into more depth? I think I would put this band right up there with the thrash legends of the 80's.



I know, right? It's badass like an '82 Camaro.

Until next time, stay fuckin' metal

A new era of Metal Blogging?!?!

Hey all,

I'm starting this metal blog. I'm gonna post about metal, so shut up and read.

Keith